Dear Rannies,

I'm nearly 20 and I've never been in a relationship. In recent years, I have questioned my sexuality and think I might be a lesbian and it scares me to think this might be true. I have recently been drawn to an older woman and I think I'm falling in love with her. My parents are quite liberal about me finding my own partner but I don't think they are quite ready to be told that I am gay. What should I do? Nasreen, Wembley

Nasreen, what can I say, I too use to feel the same about other women, I looked at them and thought wow you have lovely skin, lovely hair, you have a good job - I was in love with them! My dad gave me a good slap and I stopped being gay. It is just a phase you are going through you will grow out of it.

Being gay is against most religions,    you must not pursue this or the gods will come down and you will be cursed and so will your family.  

Do you want to bring shame and disrespect to the family, your parents will be labelled as the ‘Lesbian Lusbian  from Wembley'.

How about the family line, your bloodline will stop. We get married so we can have children and the line can continue, being Lesbian means no children. What about who plays the part of the man, who will go to work and do all the DIY in the house, I can see endless arguments about who does the cooking, shopping and tidying the bed. Get yourself a man and put this ‘Lesbain, Lusbian' to an end!

Dear Nasreen. I think most people question their sexuality at some point in their life so you're not alone there. Just because you haven't had a relationship with a man yet, doesn't make you automatically gay.

If I were you, I'd experiment a little. Why not try dating men and women and see who you're more attracted to. After that you'll have a clearer idea if you are gay or not. If you are gay, then accept it and tell the people who won't judge you - that's the last thing you want.

Leave telling your parents until they really need to know. At the end of the day you're only 20 so relax and just enjoy the single gay scene. Start exploring who you are and just enjoy it.

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